little known truth about the Duckworth Lewis method

Very few followers of cricket know the truth behind the popular Duckworth Lewis method of determining the target for a chasing team, in a rain-affected match.
It is a widely held misconception that the D/L method is a mathematical formula, which when applied to a particular match situation, decides who the winner is at that point. As a matter of fact, the formula is just mathematical gibberish and is not used to determine anything at all, leave alone the winner of the match.
It was carefully designed in such a way that the only people with the mathematical knowledge to see through the farce, would be the ones too busy to bother about a silly cricket match. And the rest would have no clue as to what the hell it is about, anyway.
The umpires and the match refree are required to decide the winner after taking into account the following factors:
1) What team, if declared winner, will pull larger crowds further in the series.
2) Is the match being played at Eden gardens? If yes, are bottles and plastic containers banned inside?
3) Is South Africa one of the teams? If yes, what would be the most improbable target for them to reach in one over? In one ball?

When none of the above three factors yield a decision, the refree asks the umpires to pick one of two fingers, each representing each of the teams.
Hope this information was of help. Queries are welcome.